I picture a little boy, so excited for his little bug that he squishes it. A bubbly baby so enthralled by his cupcake, doing the only thing he knows- face plants into the mound of icing. Sweethearts holding hands so tightly, it cuts off circulation.
This is what I want to write about- loving people to the point of hurting them. Being so delighted and grateful for friendships till it gets to be too much. In much reflection lately, I see these themes echoing true for me.
It goes like this. Have you ever spoken the truth in love, at just the wrong time?
Cared to the point of meddling?
Pursued knowing till it threatening emotional safety?
I'm guilty of all these things, and if youre in my life, its not fair to you but I'm sure you see it.
Just the other day, over a hazelnut steamer, I had to warn a friend, give her a heads up before it's too late "if were going to be close, I'm going to hurt you". If youre reading this and know what I'm talking about, I'm so sorry. If you dont, consider this your own warning- soon you'll know. Its my own fault- my sin nature and my longing for relationships make a perilous combo.
The great Henri Nouwen, the profound scholar of relationship in light of the human condition, writes that until we embrace our lonliness, we cannot really welcome anyone in.
So, today I'm spending the day alone. With my homework, and coffee, and a journal- in a quiet and desperate need of Christ's mercy in navigating through these things and the security that only relationship with Him offers.
In light of this, if you're still in I'm still in.
It's so true, "if we're going to be close, I'm going to hurt you." But it's not just you, Miriam! It's every single one of us. But you know that old quote from Love Story, "Love means never having to say you're sorry"? Not true -- True love means having to say you're sorry all the time. But I think that those relationships in which "sorry" has to happen are the best... they're the truest... they mean I'm being myself and you're being yourself and we have nothing to hide from one another. And as long as forgiveness is just as flowing as repentance, those relationships can be so sweet. Thanks for sharing your heart in this post, and for being honest about something we're all guilty of. :) Love you!
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